Art of Friendship Social Skills Tip # 3: Different People Have Different Minds
“Different Minds” establishes Theory of Mind, a.k.a. perspective taking. It is the essential awareness that each person has unique thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, and motivations.
Make it OK that people don’t have the same ideas, interests, and feelings. We can and should tolerate DIFFERENT MINDS. Say, “OK, I hear you.” or, “You’re entitled to your opinion.” Avoid saying, “That’s stupid!”, “That’s babyish!” or, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” How would you feel if people reject/insult your ideas (what’s in your mind)?”
If you have SIMILAR MINDS (share common interests), it’s fun because you can chat or play on the same topic.
When you find out what people’s minds LIKE, do more of it. When you find out what they DON’T LIKE/what bothers them, do less of that.
Caregivers, after you teach your child to use her eyes to read others, play charades and Pictionary and include emotions as prompts. Give the directive, “Think About Me With Your Eyes”. You needn’t demand eye contact; simple ask your child to direct his attention to you for instructions or to “Read Me Like a Book”.
Onward and upward! -Mike