Art of Friendship Social Skills Tip # 4: Read People Like a Book

If you want to figure out if someone is happy or unhappy with you; if he needs help or if she wants to play, you need to use two body parts together: your eyes and your brain. When you read a book you use your eyes to scan the page and your mind to understand the words. The same thing happens with friends!

 Get control over your eyes. Tell them the most important thing to look at -- PEOPLE. Be a friendship detective and look for clues: What facial expression is my friend showing now? What does his body language tell me? If he’s happy, do more of whatever you’re doing. If she’s sad or worried, check in, “Are you OK?” If he’s angry, stop doing whatever you’re doing and give him space until he calms down.

 On the Social Contract (Tip #1), you need to ZOOM IN on yourself (How do I feel…what do I want…what do I need?) AND you must ZOOM OUT on others and the group (class, family, etc.). Ask your child to ZOOM IN on what’s going on for her, and ask your child to ZOOM OUT to think about your family’s feelings and needs.

Onward and upward! —Mike