Art of Friendship Social-Coping Tip #9: Two Ways to Compromise

If you are a TEAM FOR FUN (Tip #1) the best way to TAKE THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS (Tip #6) is to BE BENDY (Tips #7, 8). When you and a partner disagree, you can still stay close together and keep it calm by COMPROMISING. A COMPROMISE is when both people give up some of their first idea to keep each other happy. There are two main compromises: MIX YOUR IDEAS TOGETHER IN THE IDEA POT and BALANCE THE SCALES OF FUN.

Here’s the first COMPROMISE to try: When you disagree, you and your friend’s minds are far apart. It’s hard to have fun TOGETHER. Imagine your ideas are a liquid, called Idea Juice. As you and your friend take steps closer towards the Idea Pot, each of you spills some of your Idea Juice. You CHANGE YOUR MIND ON PURPOSE and give up a little of your original idea. You both pour your Idea Juice into the IDEA POT and mix. You should say, “Let’s use a little of your idea and a little of mine!” When you COMPROMISE this way, you stay happy TOGETHER because you combined your ideas.

Sometimes it’s not possible to combine ideas at once, like if one person wants to go outside and shoot hoops and the other person wants to play Minecraft. Don’t panic! You can use COMPROMISE #2: BALANCE THE SCALES OF FUN. Say, “We can do BOTH of our ideas. First we can do your idea and then we’ll do mine!” It’s like putting weights on alternating sides of a balance scale. After one of you has a turn, it’s important to BALANCE THE SCALE by making sure the second person’s idea gets used. You don’t need to get upset if someone else’s idea is used; if you use the Power of I (Tip #10), you can stick up for yourself and ask your friend for a turn. Balance those scales!!

Onward and upward! --Mike